Sunday 22 November 2015

this thursday, you're going home. only gonna be back one week later... idk whads going to happen.. maybe you'll think through, maybe you're gonna come back and be cold to me again .. maybe you will realise you can't let her go... maybe you won't want to be more than friends w me .. I'm really scared. scared of losing you and everything we have now. the way i put things, it may sound like you're really mine, when you are not. I'm so confused by everything. I'm losing myself. i found a new me in you. it may not be well liked by everyone else. but as long as I'm happy w you, its ok.


你这一回，我不知道会发生什么事... 我只知道我会比以前还要想你。我知道很多，可是什么也不能说。因为我怕我一说出真心话，你会不理我。我真的很害怕啊，怕失去你，怕你不要理我了。 我怕到时你对我说： 你把我话当真的啊 ... 那时的我就会。。。。  did you know 6 months ago, you unknowingly came into my mind, my heart , my soul. and now that you're apart of it, i am not willing to let you go. i know i have to back then when it just started, but i didn't and now its too late to late go.. cause idk how to anymore. you brought my heart beating faster each time i see you smile. you made my heart feel alive again. there was even a period of time, when i actually can smell you everywhere. its like your scent is lingering around me. i never felt so comfortable smelling it. honestly, i still have a lot abt you that idk.. but there are some that i know... and i know i put you in a very difficult spot, i really hate myself for that, but i can't help my feelings. it just grows stronger each time.

they say that chats at midnights are the most honest ones... I'm still really scared of sharing my feelings w you. but i wan you to know how i feel abt you... even tho its wrong of me. i can no longer control whad I'm thinking abt.. i only know that if i don't say whad i have in mind now, i might regret it forever in the future. you are the best thing ever happened to me this year. and i am really thankful for it. I'm truly blessed to have met you . you seen me barefaced. you seen my ' just wakeup ' face. I'm thankful you didn't say or judge and is willing to still be w me. cause this is how i know, you really don't mind how i look.  as the months goes past, we became closer to one another. idk if you will stay by my side forever, but i just want to cherish every moment i have w you now. the way you call my name , the way you call me.. it makes my heart beat faster each time. when i look deep into your eyes, it warms my heart to know that you are looking straight back into mine. no, I'm not afraid to look you into the eyes, cause when I'm looking at you, i found me.

there is still 4 more days before you return home. idk whad is gonna happen. i know I'm gonna miss you badly, i told you I'm going to miss you.. and you said that your heart is w me. it really brings comfort to know it, whether its a lie or not.. you say you're gonna get me my fave snack and send me photos. well i hope you keep to ur words.. cause thats the only i can know if you're real.